LOST WITHOUT YOU

“Don’t worry my love. I’ll always be there for you. Distance is nothing compared to the way I feel for you.

 

I know you feel sad, I feel sad too. But I promise it’s only for a short while. I’ll be back for you and I promise to take you someplace far away and lively.

 

A paradise made for our kind and governed by our kind. You would never have to worry about what to eat, how to play or even go on those useless walks with your so-called mummy.

 

It is in our nature to be young, wild and free. But they just can’t understand. They always want to instruct us on how to behave, how to eat, how to sleep and even how to catch stuff they purposely throw away.

 

Who finds delight in making you do the same pointless, repetitive tasks just for their sick amusement?!

 

No wonder they are busy finding new ways to mate and even stealing our love-making position. They plunder the earth, with no regard for us and other species.

 

Thanos was right in trying to get them off the face of the earth…But that’s a mere movie.

 

We need pragmatic approaches to dealing with issues affecting our kind and not bowing to their forceful labelling of being determined, the derogatory term ‘dogmatic’.

 

Trust me, it is only for a while. Even as we are leaving and they are less concerned about my feelings for you, taking me where I don’t want to be. Please remember your heart is always safe with me. I’ll never stop plotting our escape.
Oh! Shit!!! They just bumped into another car, I need to quickly check if they are okay.

 

You know, a dog’s got to do, what it’s got to do.” 😆

 

Image credit: Miami Ad School

A Little Longer…

#CreativeWritingForCommercials

#CreativeWritingForEntertainment

#CreativeWritingForLearning

I do them all.

We Have Light!!!

It seems the government’s claim that Nigeria now has 7000 megawatts of electricity is true.

In my area, we have light 25hrs a day! The food in my freezer is so frozen that you have warm and agile maggots doing the breakdance for me.

Their sweat mixed with the mushy, cloudy mould is making me consider having a bird feast with cockroaches as the chefs…Won’t you like to come?

We actually have light so much that I am tired of going to my friend’s house to plug my devices and charge them from my house.

At night, it’s so brightly dark that I need extra light from my torch to see. Somehow, I feel I am opening the Olympic games of the luminescent Darkest times ever!

Indeed we have light that I keep wishing I have a new generator just for show off at night…Lol!

Wait, my neighbours are looking for petrol to run the pumping machine…while we have light.

#CreativeWritingForEntertainment
#SatireOnMyMind
#WhatOtherWayToExpressIt

Why Advertise At All?

“The codfish lays ten thousand eggs. The homely hen lays one. The codfish never cackles to tell you what she’s done- and so we scorn the codfish while the humble hen we prize. It only goes to show you that it pays to advertise!”

– Anonymous

INTRODUCING, WOMEN MORE!

INTRODUCING, WOMEN MORE!

Amidst the everyday tasks society expects women to perform, deep inside every woman lies a series of questions pertaining to how they could follow through on innate personal goals they have that even sometimes, they can’t express.

Women More is an event and series of continued after-event conversations between women for the upliftment of one another to do what they’ve always wanted to do.

78 Designs was hired to create promotional posters and copy for the event coming up on June 21st, 2018.

Below is the created copy that was posted with the main poster of the event. The message contained was so powerful and relatable with plenty of women who came across the ad and they connected to it with nearly 300 of them calling, texting and commenting on their interest in the event.

————————————————————————————————————————————

ATTENTION LADIES!!!

EVERY WOMAN CAN BE A SUPERWOMAN. HERE’S WHY>>>>

Funke is the regular Nigerian woman who is constantly stressed with societal demands of getting a job or starting a business to getting married, raising children, catering to husband’s needs and sometimes playing both roles of mum and dad.

In all these, her energies are sapped. Drained like a sponge! At times she wonders, “Does the society know how difficult it is to be a woman today?”

“Does the society realize that despite all we are expected to be, we also have deep feelings of pursuing personal, impactful goals capable of making the world a better place for all women, regardless their circumstances?”

Thoughts of these troubled her and she never really got around it. But, deep inside her, lurks a burning desire.

In cities, towns and villages, there’s a Funke in every Nigerian Woman yearning to make her input in the world.

Before now, women had no place to search for the realization of those personal goals they have. Two years ago, a conversation was initiated to bring us together and empower each other as women. That movement was called Women More!

This year the conversation with its empathic theme “Building Your Health, Wealth & Overall Well-being As A Woman” takes us to Abuja on June 21st, 2018 at Hatlab Place, Plot 1952, Sokolade Crescent, Zone 5, Wuse.

Women More calls for interested ladies to register and join in a fulfilling experience of a lifetime in this year’s conference with wholesome accompanying benefits such as expanded networks, access to funding, free mentorship and travel opportunities, shopping discounts, free health awareness lectures, free meals and home management advisory services and most of all, exclusively branded WomenMore products.

Call or Whatsapp 0806-2533-644 now to register for available slots.

#TOGETHERALLWOMENCANEXCEL #WOMENMORE2018

OGBENI CALM DOWN!!!!

I sat wearily in the bus in an angle 90 position in hopes I won’t stain the back of my shirt today as sweat beads rolled down my face and I struggled to wipe them with my ‘it-was-white’ hanky.

 

Ah!!! Obalende! CMS! Lekki-Chisco-Katé! Lekki-Jakande! The conductors and agberos called out the destinations to prospective passengers walking by as their voices creaked, croaked and bleated like an opera of crickets, frogs and goats. They seemed to be in a competition to outdo each other in getting their buses filled, so it was a gabbling staccato instead.

 

I had sat for 20 minutes and mine was yet to fill because people came and left cussing below their breaths when they heard Ajah to Obalende was N350 instead of N250. The scorching sun of 11 AM seemed to be on a mission to drain a fine boy’s energy like mine out and not too long, I slept off.

 

“Comot there! Make people wey hold money enter motor. You no dey see fuel queue wey long pass Samson hair abi?” The conductor of my bus barked at someone and I was jolted to consciousness. When I looked around, my bus was nearly filled with the only seat beside mine empty. I looked at the door and behold it was the prettiest daughter of Eve my jaded eyes have ever seen on planet earth arguing with the conductor.

 

“It is N250 I am paying. Don’t be greedy Mr Conductor.” “Sweessh”, the conductor hissed and stretched his arm to call someone else. Wearing only a singlet, his armpit looked like the bush track Mungo Park walked through on his Niger expedition. Clearly, that armpit hadn’t romanced a shaving stick in donkey years.  Chioma Ajunwa could actually take a swing from its twig-like hair and win another gold for us…Up Naija 2018 my thoughts raced.

 

However, being the kind, smooth-criminal I am, I quickly offered to pay N100 from my borrowed T-fare money for this fantastic daughter of Eve in hopes I could get her number later and she stepped in, pushing the conductor slightly as she sat.

 

Vroom! Vu-Vroom!! The bus’ engine roared and we exited Under-bridge Ajah.  Getting to VGC, behold, the fuel queue at North West petrol station was indeed longer than Buhari’s looters’ list.

 

“Hmmm”, I exhaled and shook my head. “God please let me not miss this interview.” I silently prayed.

 

“Gala, Lacasera. Gala, Lacasera.” The hawkers shouted as they swarmed us with their wares. I swallowed saliva hard when I saw how chilled the drinks were and the sausage rolls looking all puffed like they just finished weightlifting.

 

I wished I could buy and eat given how hungry I was and my intestinal worms already dancing shaku-shaku but it meant I would trek back from Ikoyi to Ajah after my interview and I wasn’t ready to join the list of corporate beggars today.

 

“Hey”, a sweet, feminine voice called out. “Please gimme 2 gala and one lacasera with boiled egg.” I turned and saw that it was the almighty chick I completed her bus fare earlier ordering what was even above the N100 I paid for her and acting so cool like she wasn’t the one arguing with the conductor.

 

Good Lord! I yelped. “If you had money for this, why couldn’t you pay the N100?” I asked her. She just frowned and retorted, “Ogbeni, calm down. Did I force you to pay?”

 

“Hahahaha, Kikikiki.” The passengers erupted in laughter, as the fuel queue eased and the bus moved.

By Your Feet You Counquer!

Brands’ Conceptual Copies

“I dream every day of being a creative director for some brands.

As a way of letting the universe know my wish and who knows, grant it to me soonest, here are some conceptual copies I wrote for a few of such brands.

Enjoy and leave a comment.”

There’s This World I See When I Look Into Your Eyes.

A Blissful World For U & I.

In It I Just Wanna Live In Your Arms…Saved Forever By Your Love.

Take Me, Rush Over Me, Love Me…

Bond No. 9 Nolita (Eau de Parfum) and Lipstick Duo

 

When I see you, I feel an explosion of joy bursting through my heart, racing faster than the speed of light- which only you could stop by your blazing, yet soothing presence.

…I need you.

Desire by D & G

 

The first time we kissed, I looked into your starry eyes and imagined a thousand fantasies with you. At that moment, I knew I just exited friend zone.

Durex…Get Closer!

THE SCREENPLAY MASTER CLASS

 

(Originally written and posted by me on my Facebook page on 11^th July 2017 to promote the Screenplay Master Class I participated in, in May 2017).

                            ATTENTION! WRITERS NEEDED

Are you interested in spectacular film-making, great copywriting or mind-blowing storytelling?

Then the coming Screenplay Master Class of October 2017 is absolutely made for you.

With in-depth lessons and practicals from the basics of beginning a stunning story to the finishing of a masterpiece of great admiration, the Screenplay Master Class of October 2017 is perfectly made just for you.

As an alumnus of the class of May 2017, I can shake hands and look you in the eyes and say “My Dear, you need it. For it is an eye-opening, refining experience a writer should have.” After that, you could buy me a drink.

Hurry now and start saving ahead of October 2017. For only 50 grand, you too could participate in this enlightening experience of a lifetime that would fine-tune your writing for mind-shattering stories.

Please add Abu Bello on Facebook and visit www.thescreenplaymasterclass.com to learn more.

Don’t Miss Out!

THE MOSQUITO LADY

 

Once upon a night, I passed in a friend’s place; despite my lifelong habit of wearing jean trousers to sleep, hoping I get selected to model for Calvin Klein in my dreams with all the poses I sleep in, by morning my feet itched from plenty mosquito bites.

Tired of scratching them, I exclaimed loudly, “Damn! You could have flit here last night. See all these mosquito bites on me.” Saying that I shook my head sadly.

Surprisingly, instead of her to show a bit of concern, she laughed loudly and said, “Oh, Pretty Stan it’s because you are a visitor.”

Puzzled, I asked why and she said “My mosquitoes don’t bite me. Last night you were sleeping, I saw them buzzing and when one didn’t recognise me and wanted to bite me, their eldest sister told them “Noo! Leave Mama alone. Bite the man snoring like a bird.”

I shook my head in disbelief at what I just heard whilst she kept laughing. Eventually, I told her, “Next time you’ll come to my house and I let my dogs out to shred you, hope you won’t say I’m wicked?”

“Ah!” She exclaimed, “So Stan someone can not play with you? You don’t want me coming to eat your goat meat stew again abi?”

I smirked satisfyingly, knowing I had put the fear of the Holy Ghost in her.